Letterman, Fraiser, Dolly Parton and Doogie Houser

April 1994

I was in a supermarket with David Letterman. We walked around for a bit joking around when the manager saw us. I quickly walked away and the manager told Dave to stop fooling around-we had dropped a jar of spagetti sauce – but Dave said “Well then I’m leaving”. The manager said, “OK wait, you can stay, people are coming to see you, but just don’t do much damage.” He then went one way, and myself another.

I was just roaming the isles, making joke with people, fucking around. At one point I saw Frazier(TV) and he ran past me carrying four babies in his arms. They were all crying and screaming and he was all rattled and had to hurry and get something his wife forgot to get. He ran past me and I said, “Hey Frazier, what are you doing tonight?” He turned and ran backwards a few steps and was about to answer me seriously, when he stopped, stopped running and then laughed like a fool at the joke.

I walked on and now saw Dolly Parton and Doogie Houser and he was politely yelling at Dolly, almost jokingly actually, with a rattle in his hands. He was saying, “I don’t know where to put it. Put it in you mouth, put in under your arm, put it between your breasts”. They then both looked at me with smiles and I just gave a ‘oookaayyy’ look and turned and walked away. I was walking past the checkout lines and saw Frazier and his wife bagging their food and kids. Frazier was still hysterical. His wife saw me and asked what I said to him and when I told her she just looked at him. I continued past and the next hing I know, I was mopping up the spagetti sauce while lots of people watched.

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