Archie Bunker and the Cops

January 1994

I was with Archie Bunker in a ford pinto in the parking lot of a large shopping mall looking for a MAC machine. It was night and Archie was wasted, but we needed money because someone was chasing us.

The two building of this strip mall end about 6 feet from each other and the MAC is between them. We stop the car, and before we get out, a police car pulls up behind us. Two officers approach the car and ask us the usual questions if we have been drinking. Archie was busted and taken out of the car and as soon as he was out, he ran away with a cop in pursuit.

The other cop, a big black guy, got into the passenger seat, I was in the drivers seat, and asked me to turn around. Somehow I was sitting in the seat with my legs over the back. I turned around and when I was facing front, the car started to move. It was being pushed from behind by the original car which was chasing Archie and I.

I start the car and took off, pulling away from the car chasing me. There ensued a nice chase through the mall parking lot, around light poles and cement stops. I was finally able to spin around and maneuvered my car to be behind the other one. The car stopped and two men got out. The cop and I started chasing them. The cop caught his man quickly, but mine was a chase. He ran up a grassy hill where there were train tracks on top. He got to the top, called his dog, then noticed it was only me chasing him. He started to laugh, then with his large German Sheppard, he turned towards me. I stood frozen at the bottom of the hill, with the dog bearing down at me. It was a beautiful sight: I was standing on the grass directly beneath the street light. To my right, the sharp incline of the hill leading up to the tracks. To my left about ten feet of grass, a curb then the parking lot, but right at the yellow curb, the light stopped and you could see no farther. The dog was 50 yards away from me, coming hard. A street light hung directly over him and followed him towards me. Grass and dirt was kicked from his pumping legs, thick with clouds of smoke of his breathe billowed out the sides of his mouth then falling away from him quickly. It was a great looking scene. I saw the circle of light around myself, a circle of light around the dog, which kept getting closer, a straight yellow line of the curb to my left, and in the distance, the bright white jacket of the man who chased me, and the shinning badges of the cop further in the distance.

That’s all I remember.

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