You ever have those terribly frustrating calls with the utility company that left you angry and perplexed? I had such a call in 1999 and to the best of my ability have as faithfully as possible documented each call and the word for word experience. I swear to you.. this actually happened.
————————————————————-
January 25, 1999
…ring…ring….ring…..ring….
“Thank you for calling Bell Atlantic, our menu items have changed so please listen closely. Press One for sales, press two for Billing, Pres—“
beep…
“—Please enter your phone number including area code now.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“Thank you, one moment while I transfer you.”
“Hello this is Barbara, may I have your telephone number please?”
“Nine four five, five five five, four three five five.”
“…Graham Newman?”
“Newmann. Yes.”
“How can I help you?”
“I believe I was over charged on my phone bill last month. Its states four hundred and twenty dollars, which I could not have accumulated.”
“They don’t appear to be Bell Atlantic charges. Are the changes for long distance service?”
“Uhh…yeah, three eighty for long distance charges.”
“Who is your long distance carrier?”
“MCI.”
“You’re going to have to call MCI and straighten things out with them. Our charges this month show forty four dollars and sixty seven cents.”
“Do you have their number?”
“I can transfer you….hold on.”
“……”
“Welcome to MCI Worldcom, where its pleasure to serve you. Please enter your phone number starting with your area code.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“One moment please.”
“Hello MCI, may I help you?”
“Uh, I was billed this month four hundred and twenty dollars which I am sure is wrong and I ‘d like to talk to someone about it, please.”
“Okay sir, what is your number please and I will look it up”
“Nine four five, five five five, four three five five.”
“…..”
“It says here you owe us three hundred seventy six dollars.”
“Yes, and that can’t be correct. There is not one call on this bill less than three dollars. There is something wrong here.”
“Mmmm you’re right, it seems you’re on our Random Calling plan. Did you just move?”
“Yes, in December.”
“Did you notify an MCI representative that you were activating MCI service on your line?”
“No, I did not know I had to?”
“Yes sir, you always have to call the long distance carrier and inform them when you turn on new service.”
“I never had to do this before… what do we need to do?”
“Since you did not officially activate your account and select a plan, the Random Rate was applied. Do you have a copy of your bill?”
“Yes. Your ‘Random Rate’ is three dollars a minute?”
“Yes sir, this month it was. You’ll have to fax a copy of your phone bill to us and we’ll go ahead and update your statement. You’ll see it reflected on your next bill.”
“That’s all I have to do?”
“Yes sir.”
“Do I have to tell Bell Atlantic? I don’t want my service shut off.”
“I’ll have them put on note on the computer here that they will see during the next month’s billing period.”
“Okay, what’s your fax number?”
“two one two, five five five three two nine nine. Write that number down for you will have to fax your next month’s statement in as well.”
“What do you mean?”
“You are already halfway through another billing period with the old rates, we will need a hard copy of your bill next month as well to fix this one.”
“Can’t you just go back and change all the rates now?
“We will not know what your total will be for the month until the end of the month, so we will have to wait to the period is closed before we can adjust the total.”
“…. Okaaay…I’ll wait for the next bill. Who’s attention should I made this fax out to?”
“Just put ‘Billing’”
“What’s your name?”
“My name is Jennifer.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Thank you for your call and thank you for using MCI Worldcom as your long distance service.”
“Bye.”
February 25, 1999:
…ring…ring….ring…..ring….
“Thank you for calling Bell Atlantic, our menu items have changed so please listen closely. Press One for sales, press two for Billing, Pres—“
Beep…
“—Please enter your phone number including area code now.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“Thank you, one moment while I transfer you.”
“Hello this is Angela, may I have your telephone number please?”
“Hi, why do you folks ask for my number upfront, if you are just going to ask me for it again anyway?”
“Is part of the system sir that does not get routed to us. I will need your number so I can pull up your file.”
“Just curious. Nine four five, five five five, four three five five.”
“Graham?”
“Yes.”
“How can I help you?”
“I called last month about an overcharge on my phone bill, which was an MCI charge. I faxed a copy of my phone bill to them and they were going to notify you that this total should be credited. Now this month, I have received a bill which still has the initial over charge on it, plus new changes all under the Random Calling Plan I have been mistakenly placed under.”
“Have you contacted MCI about this?”
“Yes, last month. I wanted to touch base with you first before I call them again.”
“Okay. No, there is no record in your file from MCI about your rates. You’ll have to call them and straighten it out with them.”
“In the meantime, can you put a note in my file that I have called and the past due total on my statement will be handled by MCI? I do not want my phone to be shut off for non-payment.”
“You said you called last month about this as well?”
“Yes.”
“There is not a record of the call for that. Do you have a copy of your bill?”
“Yes. Both of them.”
“If you fax us a copy, I will make sure that it goes into your file and that your service is not disconnected. Do you have a pen?”
“Yes. Do I have to fax this again? I’ve already gone through this.”
“Did you fax this to us last month?”
“No, just to MCI.”
“Okay, well fax it to us also and we will take care of it with MCI. Our fax number is two oh one five five five, two two five five.”
“five five.. got it.”
“Fax that over to us, and I will transfer you to MCI to discuss it with them.”
“You have noted my account?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”
“Thank you for calling Bell Atlantic, one moment please…”
“….”
“Welcome to MCI Worldcom, where its pleasure to serve you. Please enter your phone number starting with your area code.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“One moment please.”
“Hello MCI, may I help you?”
“Yeah, I called last month about an overcharge on my bill and the person I spoke with said there was a billing error and you had set me up with Random Calling. I faxed my bill to you and they said it would be taken care of. Now I received my current bill and nothing has changed and I have more overcharges.”
“You said you had called last month?”
“Yes, and faxed you a copy of my bill.”
“Hmm.. we have no record of this in the system. I can go ahead and make the change for you, but, do you have a copy of your bill?”
“Yes, both of them.”
“You’ll need to fax them both to us again.”
“Uh.. is there anyway you can just update the system without having to go through all of this? You know what the problem is, can’t you just make the change?”
“I’m sorry, we’ll need a hard copy of your bill to do that.”
“What about next month? The person I spoke with last time said I would have to do this each month until its cleared up. Is this still the case?”
“No.. I’ll see what I can do about that. Do you have our fax number?”
“Yes. Okay, I’ll fax it again. Can I get your name?”
“My name is Melinda.”
“Do you have a direct extension?”
“No, but anyone here can help you with this, I’ve updated your record so anyone who takes the call will understand what the situation is.”
“Okay. I hope this is the last time I need to do this. Thanks.”
“Thank you for your call and –“
“Oh.. will you notify Bell Atlantic that this will be credited so I do not lose my service?”
“We will, don’t worry, your service will not be shut off for this.”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Thank you for your call and thank you for using MCI Worldcom as your long distance service.”
March 12, 1999:
The following was a message left on my home answering machine:
“This is Bell Atlantic calling, there is a past due balance reflected on your bill dating back almost three months. Please call the billing department immediately to discuss this matter.”
April 2, 1999:
…ring…ring….ring…..ring….
“Thank you for calling Bell Atlantic, our menu items have changed so please listen closely. Press One for sales, press two for Billing, Pres—“
beep…
“—Please enter your phone number including area code now.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“Thank you, one moment while I transfer you.”
“Hello this is Deloris, may I have your telephone number please?”
“Before I give you my number yet again, is there anyone else I can speak with there? A manager or supervisor?”
“Yes sir, I will switch you over. One moment please.”
“Can I help you?”
“Yes, I hope so. I have been calling you folks for the last three months now about an over charge on my bill. MCI screwed up my dialing plan, which they have admitted to, and they said they would credit my account with you, which as not happened.”
“Have you contacted them about this?”
“Yes. I have faxed my phone bill to them twice now, and once to you people, which no one seems to have any record of receiving. I will ask you to transfer me over to MCI, but I wanted to call you first to see if they have attempted to contact you about this charge?”
“What is your phone number so I can look up your record, please?
“ Nine four five, five five five, four three five five.”
“One moment please….. I do see a past due charge of three hundred seventy six dollars and thirty three cents.”
“That’s it.”
“But, I have no record or notes at all about any credits to this account.”
“Well, as I have said, I have now called you three times and have faxed a hard copy of my bill to you. Why do you not have any record of this?”
“I am not sure sir…since this is a MCI charge, you will have to contact them to settle this matter. However, I will mark your records right now saying that we are waiting for an MCI credit.”
“Yes, please make sure this one sticks. I wanted to call you first to ensure I do not lose phone service.”
“I will make sure this does not happen. You record has been updated to record this conversation. I will now transfer you to MCI so you can settle things with them.”
“Okay, I hope this is the last time I need to call you.”
“One moment please.”
“….”
“Welcome to MCI Worldcom, where its pleasure to serve you. Please enter your phone number starting with your area code.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“One moment please.”
“Hello MCI, may I help you?”
“Yes. I have been calling you now for the last three months about a billing error on your part which still has yet to be resolved. Actually, I’m sorry, may I speak to your supervisor?”
“I’ll be happy to transfer you sir, may I first have your phone number?”
“No, I’m sorry, not until I can speak with a supervisor.”
“One moment please.”
“May I help you?”
“..sigh… yeah, I really hope this is the last time I have to explain myself here, this situation has dragged on for three months and I am tired of it.”
“We’ll handle any issue you have sir, please tell me what the problem is.”
“I moved into my new apartment in December. I was placed on your Random Calling Plan because, as I was told, I did not call you and tell you to activate my service, although this is never been something I’ve ever had to do before. Each month since January, I have called in and spoken with your operators and have explained this situation to them. I have even twice faxed and mailed my phone bill and a long letter explaining the situation. The operators, Jennifer and Melinda, have both told me that they would credit my account and notify Bell Atlantic to avoid any disruption in my service. Its been three months and the charge is still on my bill and Bell Atlantic has called me threatening to turn off my service. I would like to resolve this issue now.”
“Okay sir, I will need your phone number to look up your records.”
“ Yeah.. I’m sure you do.. nine four five, five five five, four three five five.”
“One moment please. …. Okay, well, unfortunately, we have no record of receiving your faxes, nor of any of your phone calls. I will take your word, however, that you have called. But, I will need to ask you to fax a copy of your bill to us to document the billing error.”
“I don’t want to do this again. I’ve already done this twice, there should be no reason for me to do this again. You know what the error is, can’t you simply make the change in the system?”
“I’m sorry sir, we cannot do that. I will give you a new fax number to fax it to, which goes directly to the billing department. Do you have a pen?”
“Uggh… yeah I do, but please give me your name and direct number, for I am going to fax this to you and call you back immediately to ensure you have received it.”
“The fax number is five five five… four seven six two. My name is Suzanne, and if you call the 800 number on your bill you can just ask for me.”
“Okay Suzanne, I hope you can do this for me, for it will be the last time I intend to do this. I’m going to fax this now and call you right back.”
“Okay, thank you for-“
Four minutes later.
“Welcome to MCI Worldcom, where its pleasure to serve you. Please enter your phone number starting with your area code.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“One moment please.”
“Hello MCI, may I help you?”
“May I speak with Suzanne please?”
“This is Suzanne.”
“Hi Suzanne, this is Graham Newmann, we spoke a few minutes ago. Did you receive my fax?”
“Well, actually, all faxes go directly to the billing department which is not located at this facility.”
“What? You just told me… okay.. can I call someone in the billing department to confirm my fax was received?”
“Actually, there is no one staffed at the fax office.”
“What do you mean?”
“Our main office is in St. Louis, but we have a fax machine in a nearby building. All faxes get picked up at the end of the day and brought into billing the next morning.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me? Are you saying there is just a empty office somewhere with a fax machine in it and there is no one I can call to ensure my fax went through?”
“I’m afraid not sir.”
“Then why the hell did you not tell me this when I said I was going to call back?”
“I am sorry sir but-“
“Never mind, can I speak with your supervisor please, this is getting ridiculous.”
“I’m sorry, but she is not here at the moment.”
“Is there anyone else there I can speak with?”
“No sir.”
“’No sir’? You’re saying you’re the only one in the MCI office right now talking calls?”
“Yes sir.”
“You’ve got to be kidding? What are you talking about?”
“Look sir, I am sure your fax was received and your bill will be updated accordingly. Please-“
“That is what was said to me three times already! Look, I want to speak with your boss immediately.”
“I’m sorry sir, there is no one here at the moment. I can have someone call you back?”
“I can’t believe this! Okay, you know what, cancel my account. Turn off my service, I don’t want MCI service any more, just shut it off. This whole situation is maddening, I cannot believe the shit you are putting me though.”
“You do not wish to cancel your service sir, I will have someone call you when they return and-“
“No, cancel my account right now. Shut it off.”
“May I have your telephone number?”
“You were just in my file five minutes ago!! I am not going to give you my fucking number again. You better have it! ”
“Hold on. Okay sir, your account has been cancelled. You will have –“
“Good bye!”
SLAM
Fifteen minutes later.
…ring…ring….ring…..ring….
“AT&T how can we help you?
“Yes, I’d like to switch my service to you.”
“Do you currently have long distance service?”
“Yes, through MCI, but I have just cancelled it moments ago.”
“Okay, let me transfer you to one of our representatives.”
“…”
“Hello, Marge speaking.”
“Yes hi, I wish to set up AT&T as my long distance service.”
“Okay, I’ll need your name and your phone number please.”
“My name is Graham Newmann, my number is Nine four five, five five five, four three five five. What kind of rates do you have?”
“Well, that depends upon the plan you choose. Do you know which plan you wish?”
“Not at all, can’t you just give me the best rates you have?”
“Well, we have a plan that offers fifteen cents per minute in the evening and weekends, and twenty cents per minute during the daytime hours.”
“Is that the best you have?”
“Well we do have a flat rate plan of ten cents per minutes all day everyday?”
“How much does this cost?”
“Nothing, just usage.”
“It will not cost me any monthly rates, or anything different than the first plan you mentioned?”
“No sir.”
“Then why did you not just tell me this rate right of the bat when I asked for you best rates?”
“Usually people ask for a specific plan, that’s all. I gave you a choice.”
“Why in the world would I pick the first plan?”
“Some people do sir.”
“What?! I don’t get it?… whatever… just sign me up with the ten cents a minute plan and lets be done with it. Do you need anything else from me?”
“No sir, you will see the charges on your next bill.”
“When will service go into effect?”
“By five o’clock this evening.”
“Okay, thank you.”
“Thank you sir for calling-“
April 26, 1999
The following message was left on my home answering machine:
“This is Bell Atlantic calling, there is a past due balance reflected on your bill dating back almost three months. Please call the billing department immediately to discuss this matter.”
April 29, 1999
…ring…ring….ring…..ring….
“Thank you for calling Bell Atlantic, our menu items have changed so please listen closely. Press One—“
beep…beep
“—Please enter your phone number including area code now.”
Beep.. beep…beep……beep.. beep beep……beep.. beep .. beep..beep.
“Thank you, one moment while I transfer you.”
“Hello this is Julie, may I have your telephone number please?”
“Hi Julie. My phone service was turned off and I wish to speak directly with your supervisor please.”
“Okay… one moment please and I will connect you.”
“…”
“Hello, may I help you?”
“Yes, what is your name?”
“My name is Tanya. May I ask what the problem is?”
“For three months now, due to a billing error, I have been forced to call, mail and three times fax a copy of my bill to you folks with no resolution. I was also promised last month that my service would not be interrupted which it now has been. I am calling for the last time, we are going to resolve this now.”
“Okay sir, I am here to help you. May I please have your phone number so I can look up your records?”
“Nine four five, five five five, four three five five. And you should really consider changing your voice mail system, you have to enter and say your phone number three times before anyone even speaks to you.”
“I will put a message through to our system administrators about that. One moment please. …. It says here that you have a past due balance of three hundred and seventy six dollars and thirty three cents.”
“Yes. This was an MCI oversight. They charged me under their Random Calling plan, have admitted to their error and said they would issue you the credit for these changes, which, they have not done.”
“Well sir, you will have to call MCI-”
“I am not calling MCI again. I’ve done all I can with them, faxed them, written them and called them numerous times and getting no answers or resolutions, I have cancelled my service with them. This is now your issue. I will not deal with this anymore. This has been going on for five months now and I simply refuse to play along any further. I want you to switch me to whomever I need to talk to resolve this NOW!”
“Okay sir, I am very sorry for the inconvenience you have experienced. I going to transfer you over to Credit Investigations, who can help you further. One moment please.”
“Good afternoon, Ms. Macmillan speaking.”
“Yes, Ms. Macmillan, this is the Julie from bell Atlantic customer service, Mr. Newmann needs some assistance settling a matter with MCI billing error. When you are finished, please transfer him over to repair so his service can be switched back on”
“Okay, we’ll take care of it. What is the problem Mr. Newmann?”
“Yeah, I can’t believe I have to tell this story again, this is just incredible the nightmare I have been suffering through the last five months.”
“Hopefully we can get to the bottom of it. What is the problem?”
“MCI had setup my account under random Calling. They have admitted to the mistake, said they would credit my account with you for the three hundred seventy six dollars and thirty three cents they owe you. They have not, and thus, my phone was disconnected. I have faxed and mailed letters to you and MCI and have called a half dozen times and this needs to end here for I will NOT be calling again.”
“Okay, when was the last time you spoke with MCI about this matter?”
“Three weeks ago. I attempted one last time to resolve this, they were of no help, and I thus have cancelled my service with them.”
“Okay, I do not see any indication in your records that anything has come through from MCI, but I am going to write up a formal credit investigations report and we will contact MCI directly and resolve this for you.”
“Good.”
“Are you still being billed under the Random Calling Plan?”
“No, after the second month it was switched to a regular plan, but the initial charges were never dropped or credited.”
“So MCI has admitted their mistake and have changed your billing rates?”
“Yes.”
“Okay Mr. Newman, I will go ahead and submit this report, however, I will need you to send a copy of your bill to our LEC Relations Department for final processing. I know you’ve faxed this to us in the past, but we need this done in order to push this through.”
“Aww c’mon, this is crazy!”
“I know sir, and I apologize for the inconvenience this may cause, but I can’t take care of this for you without your help. If you have a pen I will give you the address.”
“ ..sigh.. go ahead.”
“Send it to MCI – LEC Relations, PO Box four six six zero, Iowa city, Iowa, five two two four four. Please send it attention B. Vendersloot.”
“Okay, fine, now what about getting my phone turned back on?”
“Okay Mr. Newmann, I’m going to transfer you over to repair right now. One moment.”
“Hello, Repair.”
“Yes, this is Ms. Macmillan from Client Investigation. Mr. Newman had his phone shut off due to a billing issue that has been taken care of, I need you to restore service for him please. She will take care of you now, Mr. Newmann and the other issue will be resolved. Have a good day.”
“Okay, Mr. Newmann?”
“I’m here.”
“What is phone number on the line that has the problem?”
“Its, nine four five, five five five, four three five five.”
“Okay, do you get a dial tone?”
“Uhh, yeah, I just can’t make any calls.”
“Have you checked the line to make sure it was fully plugged in?”
“What?! You guys have switched my phone off because of a billing error, there is no problem other than that?”
“Yes Mr. Newmann, but I need to ask the following questions. Have you tried to connected a different phone to the line?”
“You are out of your fucking mind! The operator who switched me over to you told you it was a billing error and you switched me off. Just turn it back on!”
“Okay sir, one moment please.”
“…..”
“Sir?”
“Yeah I’m still here..”
“You service has been re-activated. You –“
“When will it be effective?”
“In a few hours.”
“If I get home from work and it is not one, who can I call?”
“You can just dial the operator, but it will be turned on, I have generated the request.”
“Yeah, right. We’ll see.“
“Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“No, that’s it.”
“Thank you for-“
SLAM
October 30, 1999
