January 1994
Kathy Murphy from Center for Literacy asked us if we wanted a less well off baby, she said it would be good for us. (I dreamt of Kathy because I was waiting for a call from her.)
Debbie and I received a picture of the baby and on the back of the photo was written, ‘prepare for a shock’ (yes, i could read it.) The baby was hideous. (I have such a clear picture of it.) It was wrapped in a blanket so all that showed was the face. The face was a very deep pink with real blue eyes in fish-like sockets. The face was full of deep ridges which outlined and ran along all its features. It reminded me of the Creature from the Black Lagoon. It was horrible.
We knew we could not handle a kid like that. so, we decided to move out, well she did, but it was not my fault-seeing the picture made us realize we were not decent people.
There were a few scenes when Debbie and I tried to hug and get back together, always on the stool in my kitchen of my Oakland house. It was during one of these times that I mentioned adoption, we could walk right into a ward and look at a baby and not be shocked like this again.
